The holiday season may not feel very merry for people who struggle with depression, those who are working through grief and loss, and individuals with seasonal affective disorder (SAD), but it’s actually very common to experience heightened levels of depression or sadness at the holidays. Seeing other people being happy, feeling pressure to be happy yourself, and remembering past holidays with lost loved ones can all increase feelings of depression and grief at the holidays. If you’re worried that the holiday season might increase your experience of depression or grief, there are some steps you can take to manage these feelings and find some joy in the holidays.

Recognize & Validate Your Emotions

First and foremost, whatever emotion you are experiencing is valid and okay. Even if you’re at a holiday event and everyone around you seems happy, it’s okay if you don’t feel that way. Your emotions and experiences are your own. Embrace and accept what you’re feeling. If you need to take a minute to step away or you just need to go home, that’s okay. Honor your experience and give yourself room to feel any emotion that arises. Don’t judge the emotions, just let yourself feel them.

Identify Potential Triggers & Make a Plan

If you know specific holiday gatherings or traditions that are likely to trigger depression or grief, try to think through these events before they happen and plan for how you will respond. For example, if you have a specific loved one who is always very enthusiastic about the holidays and it overwhelms you, plan ahead for gatherings they’ll be at. Have a signal with another loved one at the event, set a time limit on how long you’ll stay, or text a friend who can offer some kind words of support. Another good option is to make a plan for what to do after a potentially difficult holiday event. Plan ahead to do one of your favorite stress-relieving activities like taking a bubble bath, eating a favorite treat, or spending time with your pets.

Prioritize Self-Care

This might include giving yourself time to enjoy those favorite stress-relieving activities we just discussed, but true self-care is much more basic. It’s all about getting plenty of sleep, eating a nutrient rich diet, and making time for exercise. Self-care during the holidays may also look like taking extra time for self-care like meditation, deep breathing exercises, or other mindfulness activities. If you are having a tough time, self-care may also include working with a therapist. A counselor can help you develop skills and strategies to manage all of the difficult and confronting emotions that can arise during the holidays.

Try to Find Some Joy in the Holiday Season

People who experience depression or grief may have a hard time during the holiday season because there is so much pressure to enjoy themselves. Instead of putting pressure on yourself to be happy all the time, accept and embrace all of your emotions, but try to find one or more things that you’re happy about, grateful for, or looking forward to each day. For example, if you’re grieving the loss of a loved one, you can do something to honor their memory like watching their favorite holiday movie, singing their favorite Christmas carol, or sharing a favorite story about your loved one during the holiday. It holds space for your grief while finding reasons for joy.

Visit Us at Lansing Counseling

If you know you’re likely to experience holiday depression or increased grief at the holidays, it might be beneficial to plan ahead to work with a therapist during this challenging time. If you’re interested in therapy in the Lansing area, don’t hesitate to contact the team at Lansing Counseling. We’ll be happy to answer your questions or schedule a session for you with one of our knowledgeable clinicians.